The So Un/Usual Indian Monsoon Wedding - February 2007

May be just another day of the month for anybody in the entire world but for me..the most memorable and important day of my life-The D-Day....My Marriage day...11th Feb ,2007.

Unlike any other wedding it was a monsoon wedding in mild winter month of India.Things were absolutely not going in favour of the wedding....the venue had to be changed due to heavy rain within 3 hrs just before the baraat's arrival, bride (myself) was severely suffering from cold because of the weather outside and the auspicious cold henna which almost covered her legs and arms apart from palms. Her attire was more suiting to the typical U.P style night wedding rather Gujarat style morning wedding(groom was from Gujarat) and last but not the least the new venue for wedding was more like a theatre in which people from the groom's and bride's side were like spectators who had come to watch the new released Indian movie (respect for those who hate to call our film industry as Bollywood)" The so Un/Usual Indian Monsoon Wedding."

Movie started and the camera captured few white faces(the two gorgeous looking Germans) as well, not because they were unusual but they were actually the friends of our own bride or may be the first goras who were seen there after Britishers left in 1947.Unfortunately groom's colourful looking friends did not have much of chicks around to engage them with their lovely talks and ask about, them being comfortable instead there were loads of eye candy male cousins of bride who were taking good care of them (Naya daur). Thankfully no photo sessions for the newly wedded, which leads to nothing but make us feel like tamed monkeys who has to do anything and everything to make people notice in an amused manner.

Slowly people started coming onto the stage with a beautiful smile on their faces greeting us with wishes, boxed gifts and beautifully wrapped colourful wishful and money-full sealed envelopes. Like the weather outside (unusual), so were the songs played in the marriage hall "Oud lee chunariya maine tere naam ki" it is good to remember the 90's music but atleast not in 2007 and at this occasion. Soon the pilgrimage for the Buffet (food) started. Quite usual thing which happens in Indian wedding is khatirdaari(Hospitality) for janta (baraati's) from bride's side,hosts would be after you and with you all the time until you have finished eating even if you don’t want to but you have to because you need some time to be alone and on your own.

The"Hum aapke hain kaun" chapter ,(joota churaai ceremony) started after the heavy lunch during pheras (ritual),my female cousins did manage to find their jijaji's priceless jooti's with the help of my friends who could trace its location through their weapon (Handy cam).They got a handsome price from its exchange (5000 Rs). Soon after the pheras were over....all young crowd present did not spare a single moment to make us (we both) a target and hit us by lovely flowers anywhere they would want to(instead of showering them on us) which was again an unusual thing.

The most usual thing that happened was the happiness on everyone's face ....because of the love bonding between the newly wedded. Some marriages are made in heaven...!! Last but not the least the most unusual thing which happened in this marriage was actually dulhe ka "Dil le toh gayi kudi par U.P ki"(instead of Gujarat).

My City My Pride.!!

Kanhiyapur(Town of Kanhiya,Lord Krishna) within due course of time abbreviated as Kanhapur and subsequently got its original identity as Kanpur(anglicized spelling of which was Cawnpore during British Rule).Apart from being famous for its great history at the time of British rule,it is known to possess the famous Valmiki Ashram (situated in Bithoor 20 km away from Kanpur),where the famous sage Valmiki wrote the auspicious Epic Ramayana. As per the epic queen sita spent her exiled days(away from Ayodhya nagari) in seclusion at the ashram bringing up her twin sons Lava and Kush.

The Manchester of northeast part of Uttar Pradesh,this is where I was born and brought up. The city which has hot summers mixed with cold winters, known to have Industrial and labour sect of people only. Famous for its industrial sector it has its Brand Icon "Pan Parag" did Mr Late Jalal Aaga's picture flashed in ur mind,

Kahiye kya lenge janaab..?? Pan Parag Pan Masala...

"Rotomac Pen" Likhte Likhte love ho jaaye....famous punch line of this ad promoted by our very own Raveena Tondon,some more achievements...red tape shoes, LML Vespa,J K white cement,Ghari detergent etc.

There are few other great things for which we are famous for ....(July 2004) it was few days after I finished my post graduation degree in International Business from Delhi I happen to join a pharma company(college campus placement) in Bangalore and unlike a usual day I missed my company bus for work, not bothered how much would it cost me to reach work by an auto...on top of my voice, standing by the side of the road I saw an autorickshaw coming and shouted " Bhaiya khali ho kya"? Immediate power break Krrrrrrr. " Aap U.P se ho kya"? The fellow peeped out of his rickshaw and asked me this strange question. It was nothing I could give him but a cheeky smile and an affirmative nod.

Addresing everyone (yes, please mind my words when I say everyone it includes my husband well) by this word "Bhaiya" is only used colloquially when in a 'chilled out' moods..but in a way the slang term " Bhaiya " is part of our DNA ...and by far naturally inhibited in us.(November 2007) During a cold chilly weekend evening few of our common friends were at my place havin a cuppa tea with house radiators on, which was providing us warm and a cozy atmosphere to talk about a common topic and yes what it can be other than Cricket,a game in which people talk a lot and perform less. As always Mr overconfident (great fan of a legend Mohd Azharuddin,former cricketer) in the middle of the discussion, "Megha Ardho cup chai mali jaay to..."....in the flow of the conversation I replied "Mrugan Bhaiya..bahut ho gayi chai ab nahi",without realising what am I saying and what will it lead me into..I said that ....addressed my husband as Bhaiya infront of his friends who would never lose an opportunity to take the 'micky' out of me ..!

Hailing from Kanpur makes you naturally inherit one more big thing as well which is Lakhnawi Tehzeeb(manners) it comes from the city of nawaabs "Lucknow", brother neighborhood. We share the same tehzeeb. There is a very famous saying in Hindi as

"Angrez toh chale gaye par, I Love you, Sorry, Thank you yahin chod gaye".

Similarly its famous for this place as well that "Nawaab to nahi rahe par nawaabi tehzeeb hame viraasat main de gaye.We tend to show our lakhnawi tehzeeb to all the people who does not belong to the city, by claiming that we speak Shudh(pure) hindi which is our mother tongue and our national language as well ,ignoring the fact that neither we speak proper hindi nor proper urdu but a combination of Urdu and Hindi and that too not sometimes but always a broken one.

We kanpurians are very respectful in terms of our language giving it a name of tehzeeb but not knowing where it will lead us to " Actually nowhere",Dekhiye janaab pehle aap pehle aap kehne main kahin gaadi na nikal jaaye...poor we dont know even that gaadi has already left the platform and cannot come back because it does not have a reverse gear..!!

(January 2006)One of my boggie mate asked me on my way to kanpur from Bangalore , Where are you heading to? I replied "Hum kanpur ja rahe hain".(We are going to Kanpur). With a gaze on his face he asked me again "Who else is going with you, is anyone else joining you from next station"? I said "Nahi sirf Hum ja rahe hain"(No we are going alone).This is what we call it a kanpuri or Lakhnawi style or Tehzeeb inspite of you being alone(Sirf Main,Only me) during the whole journey you tell people that along with you so many others (HUM) are accompanying you as if you are going with a batallion of virtual people with a feeling of pride,not knowing the person who is asking you these questions might be scoffing at you from inside.

Whatsoever..... after going through the above reasons I still love my city not for anything else but for its Lakhnawi Tehzeeb Yes truly speaking I love speaking "Hum" and using these respectful words as Aap,aapke aapka,even to the people who are much much younger to me.Don't you think "Main" (Ahamkaar or ego) as an individual identity holds less weightage than "HUM" (all of us). Aji yeh sab chhodiye janaab, Lakhnawi tehzeeb nibhaate nibhaate agar gaadi chooth jaati hai toh choothe HUM aeroplane se chale jaayenge....(Always think beyond..!!thats what We Kanpurians do)